Some names in Scripture shine because grace made them bright; others endure because pride cast a long shadow. Diotrephes appears only briefly in the New Testament, yet the portrait is unforgettable: a man who “loves to be first,” who refuses the messengers of the apostles, spreads malicious talk, and throws out those who practice faithful hospitality (3 John 9–10). The church meets in homes, mission advances along roads, and the truth travels through open doors; into that world Diotrephes slams a gate and crowns himself.
John writes not merely to expose but to shepherd. He commends Gaius for walking in the truth and welcoming gospel workers for the sake of the Name, and Demetrius for a life that agrees with the truth (3 John 3–8, 12). Between Gaius’s welcome and Demetrius’s witness stands Diotrephes’s will to rule. John’s counsel is simple and searching: “Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good” (3 John 11).
Words: 2403 / Time to read: 13 minutes
Historical & Cultural Background
John’s short letter moves in the ordinary currents of first-century church life, where congregations gather in living rooms and mission depends on the grace of open tables. Hospitality is not a courtesy but a lifeline. John thanks Gaius because he receives faithful brothers “for the sake of the Name,” and he urges him to send them “on their way in a manner that honors God,” adding that those who do so become “fellow workers for the truth” (3 John 5–8). In such a setting, to welcome trustworthy teachers is to push the gospel’s borders; to refuse them is to starve a church of the very means by which Christ nourishes His people.
That welcome walks with discernment. John’s second letter warns that “many deceivers” deny truth about Christ and that believers must not give them a platform or share in their work by supporting them (2 John 7–11). Love must be discerning or it becomes naïve; truth must be loving or it becomes harsh. The apostolic pattern binds both together. The risen Lord has given the church apostles and prophets as the foundation, Christ Jesus Himself the cornerstone, and pastors and teachers as stewards so that the body might be equipped and built up until it reaches unity and maturity in the faith (Ephesians 2:20–22; 4:11–16). The authority at issue is never the personality of a leader but the voice of Christ mediated through His word.
The stakes are therefore theological, not merely social. The church is Christ’s body; He is its head (Colossians 1:18). His sheep know His voice, and Scripture preserves that voice for every generation (John 10:27; 2 Timothy 3:16–17). To welcome those who carry sound teaching is to welcome Christ; to barricade the door against faithful workers is to substitute one’s own will for the Lord’s governance of His church (Matthew 10:40; Hebrews 13:7).
Biblical Narrative
John says he wrote to the church, “but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not welcome us” (3 John 9). The phrase is revealing. The problem is not simply a policy disagreement or an administrative miscue; it is a heart posture—a love of preeminence—that positions self where only Christ belongs. From that fountainhead flows predictable fruit. John adds that Diotrephes “is spreading malicious nonsense” about the apostles. The tactic is as old as Eden: to loosen the grip of the church on the apostolic word, smear the messengers, cast suspicion on their motives, and thereby create space for unaccountable control (Genesis 3:1–5; Proverbs 6:16–19).
The portrait darkens. “He refuses to welcome other believers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church” (3 John 10). The pattern is chilling because it is patterned. First, there is rejection of the apostolic letter and the men who carry it. Next comes the degradation of their character by slander. Then the choking of gospel partnership by blocking hospitality. Finally, punitive measures fall on the faithful who defy the local strongman. Each step unthreads a bond Christ wove with His own blood. The church is a temple built together in Him; every stone matters (Ephesians 2:21–22). To expel those who welcome the truth is to raze what the Lord is building.
Yet John does not leave the flock to suffer in silence. “So when I come, I will call attention to what he is doing” (3 John 10). This is not vindictiveness; it is shepherding. Jesus taught a process for dealing with sin that endangers the fellowship—private reproof, confirmation by witnesses if needed, and, if hardness persists, telling the church so that the holiness and health of the body are preserved (Matthew 18:15–17). John’s promised visit follows that logic. The goal is not spectacle but restoration, not humiliation but healing. There is a better way on display in the same note. John rejoices that Gaius walks in the truth, that brothers testify about his love, and that Demetrius has the good opinion of everyone and of the truth itself (3 John 3–4, 12). John is not only naming what to resist; he is pointing to patterns worth imitating.
Theological Significance
At the center of Diotrephes’s failure stands the question of lordship. Scripture declares that Christ alone is head of the church and that all authority in heaven and on earth is His (Colossians 1:18; Matthew 28:18). He rules His people by His word and Spirit through undershepherds who must not “lord it over those entrusted to you, but be examples to the flock” while they await the Chief Shepherd (1 Peter 5:2–4). The apostles laid the foundation once for all; ministers are stewards who must be found faithful (1 Corinthians 3:10–11; 4:1–2). To refuse apostolic messengers is to resist the Lord’s chosen means of teaching, correcting, and strengthening His church. Hebrews exhorts the saints to remember those who spoke the word of God to them and to imitate their faith, and then adds, “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as those who must give an account” (Hebrews 13:7, 17). Such submission is never blind allegiance to personalities; it is glad deference to the word faithfully ministered.
A second strand concerns the nature of greatness in Christ’s kingdom. The disciples once argued about who was greatest. Jesus set a child in their midst and said that whoever wants to be first must be last and servant of all (Mark 9:33–35). Later He washed their feet and said, “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you” (John 13:15). He defined His own mission in terms of service and sacrifice: “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). Diotrephes’s hunger for preeminence contradicts the heartbeat of the cross. True authority bends; it does not strut.
The ethics of speech form a third thread. John says Diotrephes spreads malicious talk. Scripture insists that words either build or break. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,” Paul writes, “but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs” (Ephesians 4:29). The tongue can set a forest ablaze; with it we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people made in God’s image; “this should not be” (James 3:5–10). Leadership that traffics in slander corrodes trust and makes fellowship fragile. The Lord detests “a person who stirs up conflict in the community” (Proverbs 6:19). The church must therefore cultivate speech that is truthful, patient, and peaceable, especially when concerns about leaders arise.
A fourth doctrine shines in the letter: gospel partnership through discerning hospitality. John tells Gaius that when he welcomes faithful workers and sends them on their way “in a manner that honors God,” he becomes a partner with them in the truth (3 John 6–8). Hospitality is mission by other means. At the same time John warns elsewhere that to welcome teachers who do not bring sound doctrine is to share in their wicked work (2 John 10–11). Love opens the door to truth; love shuts the door on error. Diotrephes errs in both directions. He refuses true brothers and punishes those who would help them, choking the ordinary channels of grace by which the Lord grows His church.
Finally, the narrative raises the necessity of corrective discipline. Paul tells Titus to warn a divisive person and, after repeated warnings, to have nothing to do with them because such a person is warped and sinful; they are self-condemned (Titus 3:10–11). He urges the Romans to watch out for those who cause divisions contrary to the teaching they have learned and to keep away from them, because such people serve their own appetites and deceive the naïve (Romans 16:17–18). John’s promise to address Diotrephes fits the biblical pattern. Done with patience, clarity, and hope, discipline protects the many, pleads for the one, and honors Christ’s name. Where repentance comes, the church hastens to reaffirm love, “so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow” (2 Corinthians 2:6–8).
Spiritual Lessons & Application
The first lesson is to recover the mind of Christ in every sphere of service. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” Paul writes, because the Lord Jesus “made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant” and became obedient to death on a cross (Philippians 2:3–8). Communities that celebrate unseen faithfulness and ordinary obedience blunt the appeal of preeminence. When the cross shapes our imaginations, self-importance looks out of place and pride loses its shine.
The second lesson is to tether authority tightly to the word. The noble Bereans examined the Scriptures every day to see if the apostolic message was true (Acts 17:11). The aim is not suspicion of leaders but submission of everyone to Scripture. Pastors model this by preaching texts in context, by inviting questions, by confessing their own need of the word they deliver, and by gladly being corrected by it. Members model it by praying for those who keep watch, by weighing counsel with open Bibles, and by receiving reproof as a kindness from the Lord (Proverbs 9:8–9). Where Scripture governs, no Diotrephes can long thrive.
A third application is to make hospitality a mission instinct. John says that to welcome and send faithful workers “in a manner that honors God” is to share in their labor (3 John 6–8). Ordinary tables become outposts of the kingdom. Churches can normalize this by commending vetted missionaries, by offering clear ways to care for them, and by telling stories of what God does when doors and hearts are open. At the same time, love must be discerning. The same open door that blesses faithful servants must be closed to voices that deny the Son. “Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God” (2 John 9). Generosity without discernment subsidizes harm.
A fourth lesson concerns sanctified speech. Jesus says that “everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word,” and that words reveal the heart’s storehouse (Matthew 12:34–37). Slander “separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28). When hard matters arise, the Lord has given us a better path: go first to the person, then take witnesses, then involve the church if needed (Matthew 18:15–17). Those who hear damaging reports can love well by asking for facts, context, and sources; by refusing to pass along half-knowledge; and by choosing words that give grace. In a culture intoxicated with hot takes, restraint is holiness.
A fifth application is to practice restorative courage. John’s promised visit is a pastoral act. Shepherds must sometimes name harmful patterns, call for repentance, and protect the weak. Scripture insists that this work be gentle and patient, because the goal is repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 2:24–26). If hardness persists, discipline guards the flock and pleads with the offender. And when the Lord grants repentance, the church rushes to reaffirm love so that sorrow does not swallow the penitent (2 Corinthians 2:6–8). Peace at any price is not love; discipline without tears is not Christlike.
A final test is motive. Paul says, “What we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake” (2 Corinthians 4:5). The simplest questions are often the most revealing. Do I rejoice most when Christ is honored, or when I am noticed. Do I welcome the word even when it overturns my preference. Do I delight to see others commended. Do I open my table to advance what is true. Scripture presses the aim upon us: “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). Where that aim governs, Diotrephes fades and Christ is seen.
Conclusion
Diotrephes’s cameo in Scripture is small, but his warning is wide. Love of preeminence, rejection of the apostolic voice, speech that corrodes trust, the throttling of hospitality, and punitive control over consciences—these grow wherever the cross is admired but not imitated. John’s letter gives us more than a diagnosis; it points to a cure. Walk in the truth like Gaius. Keep a good testimony like Demetrius. Welcome faithful workers and send them in a way that honors God. Submit gladly to Scripture’s rule through Christ’s undershepherds. Confront persistent divisiveness for the sake of the weak and the honor of Christ. Above all, imitate what is good, for goodness bears the family resemblance of God (3 John 3–12).
The Lord Jesus told us what greatness is and then put on a towel to show it. “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted” (Matthew 23:12). May our churches be places where preeminence belongs to Christ alone, where the word runs freely, where tables are open to the truth, and where love speaks truth for the joy and safety of all.
“Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God” (3 John 11).
All Scripture quoted from:
New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.